a model

I have to be like that
man who entered the
restaurant
tonight,
he parked right in
front
blocking a good many
parked cars,
then slammed his car
door,
walked in,
his shirt hanging out
over his big
gut,
and he saw the
maitre d’,
said, “Hey, Frank,
get me a fucking
table by the window!”
and then followed
him
along.

I have to be like
that man.
this way’s not
working.

for over 70 years
now.

the snake

this morning I had the most awful time

excreting.

I pushed and I worked the

what do you call them?—

sphincters—god, I pushed and

grunted,

felt like an utter fool.

but you go on.

it’s like a flat tire on a freeway,

you get out and try to keep

something going,

giving up could lead to

madness.

so

I kept grunting and pushing,

it hurt.

it hurt so badly and I couldn’t

surmise if there were half a

turd hanging there or

nothing.

I continued to grunt and

push.

the edges of the toilet lid

dug into my ass

unmercifully.

a flash of purple shot before my

eyes

it was finally out.

I stood up and looked around.

unbelievable!

magnificent!

indubitably the largest turd of our time,

it curled in a full circle around the

edge of the bowl.

it was unbroken, thick and fat,

perfectly formed,

a giant brown eyeless snake of

decay.

I stared

at that and had the feeling that

I would live

forever.

 I wiped and washed, came

back, took a last memorable

look and flushed it

away.

then I was ready for whatever

else

that day would bring

me.